My dad, my hero! If you've followed my story, you know that my mom passed away when I was 13. My siblings were all grown and lived far away. My dad didn't really have the skills necessary to raise a 13 year old girl who had just lost her mother. He was pretty stunned to say the least... we sorta just stared at each other for about a month, dumbfounded by the fact that we didn't really know each other very well. and what the hell are we supposed to do now?
My dad was retired Air Force Pilot, fought in World War II. He, like so many of the "greatest generation", had a whole set of his own rules to live by. Hanging out at the Officers Club with his buddies, playing golf and tennis, drinking, and supporting his family were his primary objectives. He played the obligatory role of father/husband, but it was a different time. He was devilishly handsome, charming and so incredibly smart.
After my dad retired from the Air Force, we moved to the Virgin Islands. So when my mom became ill and needed good medical care, they moved back to San Antonio, and sent me to boarding school for a year in Florida. Boarding School is a whole 'nother story....let's just say that Dr. Longstaff (yes that was his name!) and I did not really see eye to eye!
So, here was this larger than life man, left with a quivering, sad little girl to raise. His words to me changed the course of my life. Our first heart to heart conversation went something like this.
Dad: "Kimbo, we don't know each other very well, do we?"
Me: umm, I guess not.
Dad: "well, if we are going to make it, and we are, then it is critical that we have open communication."
Me: soooo, you want me to talk to you? and tell you everything?
Dad: yes.
welllllll alllrightythen....nuff said and he became my best friend! I could tell him EVERTHING! He never judged, or got angry, or was condescending. He empowered me to have a voice. Poor guy never knew what hit him. I talked the man's ears off!
He became a changed man, so to speak. This guy that was a man's man, was a father....a dad that was there for me all of the time! I would veer off course, he would guide me lovingly back on course. Example: There was a dance hall (It's Texas y'all) that we highschool kids liked to go to. If you were a minor, you wore a wristband, so you couldn't buy liquor. paasshhaaa....that never stopped us....duh, saunter up to some big cowboy, take a spin around the dance floor and he would buy you a beer. perfect. Except my dad was onto my gig. As I'm spinning around the dance floor, probably a little tipsy and in the arms of a cowboy that had cowboy 'ideas",.... I glance up into a crowd of a few hundred people see my dad standing there (okay he was sticking out like a soar thumb with his baby blue polyester golf shirt, white pants and white shoes and NOT a cowboy belt buckle) with his arms crossed and raising his eyebrows at me.... crap....party over.....buzz kill....cowboy AND beer, gone! I sheepishly sneaked out, so my friends wouldn't notice, and sat very silently next to my father for the entire way home. He never had to say a word to me. I knew the expectations, and was embarrassed of my behavior. He saved me from myself over and over throughout my high school and college years in this manner. He was the bravest man I knew to take on a vivacious and fearless teenager and he won! We became a team. I knew I could count on him to be there when I needed him.
He sent me off to college, me kicking and screaming, because I didn't want to leave him. He knew it was the best thing for me. I had JUST turned 17 and was petrified to leave my dad. I had NO choice in the matter. He loaded up the large trunk (it held my whole bedroom) of the Chrysler New Yorker Brougham...with my posters, books, albums, clothes and stuffed animals and dropped me off at the same dorm where my mother and sister had previously roomed, some 4 hours away...handed me a some cash and left that night. I thought I would die. I found out years later, that he thought HE was going to die. But he knew what was best for me....he knew I needed to grow up and get off on my own and learn how to take care of myself. Life had no guarantees. He wanted to make sure I was prepared to be self sufficient. I pretty much strapped on my disco shoes, and shimmered into my lycra metallic dress and danced the next 4 years away..... BUT... when I needed to hear his voice, he was there for me. Smartest man I know!!! Those years away were the best gift he ever could have given me. I did it!!! I graduated, made life long friends, got a job, learned how to navigate the dirt roads of life!
I had found my bliss.....
My dad was a quirky kind of guy.....he loved science, researching stuff, reading, gardening and women. Not necessarily in that order. After my mom passed away, he knew it was a good idea to not wallow, but get on with the business of living. He ran an ad, with my permission, in the local paper that said something about being a widow, and looking for an "earthy" woman. This was the Match.com of the 70's, for those of you that seem confused. He received over 100 responses. This man, being the gentleman that he was, took every single one of those crazy women out, to at least lunch. "If they took the time to respond to me, the least I can do is buy them a meal and let them know I appreciate them." He had women from ages 25- 85...and wound up dating about 5 of them for many years, AT THE SAME TIME!!!! It was great fun at Christmas and Birthdays....but tough when I would confuse names with the messages left on the answering machine. There was a lot of juggling going on....and I was the ring master!
When my dad passed away, his funeral was attended by 5 or 6 of these women. They were scattered behind me and my siblings, and we were snickering about this throughout the service. Well, we weren't just giggling about all of the women. My dad's funeral was a full 21 gun salute military funeral, and he was laying in his casket wearing a bright green Hawaiian shirt, his favorite tennis shorts, and tennis shoes, with his glasses and his pack of cigarettes and lighter tucked in his front pocket. Tell me THAT wasn't an awkward delivery to the funeral home. But it's what he wanted. Closed casket, I might add, so only immediate family knew what was under that American Flag. Afterwards, one of the women that was very special in our lives for many, many years came up to me and asked me who all of the other women were..... ummmmm.... Aunties?? Friends?? I was not prepared to answer this. I think I muttered something and quickly grabbed for my hanky to cry into. I was NOT going into THAT bee's nest!!!
My dad was the dad that let me have all of my high school girl friends sleep over every weekend if I wanted to. He would make us big breakfast's and laugh at our stories from the previous nights escapades, (hell he had probably followed us all night to make sure we were okay, but would never let us know that!)
My dad was also the guy that would randomly send me 100 bucks in a letter, when I was in college, and tell me to take all of my friends out for drinks. My friends liked my dad! A LOT! He would think nothing of waking up to a house full of college kids that I would drag home, with NO notice, because San Antonio was just a road trip away....and hey, there would always be food!
He instilled the love of reading and research in our lives, he taught me how to garden, we hated to do housework but divided the chores, he taught me how to manage money (maybe I didn't pay attention during this lesson) and how to cook. He taught me to dance! He took me shopping for formal dresses, and even helped me plan my wedding. When my babies were born, he turned root beer floats into a religious experience. He was the center of my world, and he knew it!
I think most people assumed that he would never be able to raise a young girl, that would amount to anything, by himself. Tenacity, spirit, love and the ever present raised eyebrow kept me in line and probably kept me alive.
So cheers to him.....he gifted me with loving life, being fearless, not simpering in self pity, loving the world we live in, and to live unselfishly. He taught me that being quirky was good and to find my voice. We left nothing unsaid between us. We found our bliss! Donald L. Crist 1921-1993
My Dad and I, 1977, Junior in High School....notice his unlit cigarette. haha... Olan Mills wouldn't let him light it up! His form of rebellion! 
This picture sums up my love for him.... this was not a posed shot! |
| and this is how he became famous with the ladies! |
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| The infamous Green Hawaiian shirt he was buried in....love it! |
2 comments:
Ah yes....and there were lots of other stories u left out. I have some of the beautiful letters he wrote me in college. Your folks were my second parents asnd I love them still.
If I tried to write all of the stories, I would need a publisher....it would be a book! He loved you very much! I'm glad you had the chance to be parented by him... he was pretty awesome!
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